I suck!

Ya, I know I suck! I said I wasn't the best at keeping a great blog. I guess cuz I just get focused on other things and just leave this as the last thing I put on my to do list or want to do list. One person asked me if my life was that interesting that I should even keep a blog and to that I must agree. Most of the time it is pretty damn boring, well I think so. Sure the ex-wife is always a good fuel for writing, but who wants to here me ranting about that all the time. As I look back at when I worked for the VA it seems like all I did was talk about my ex-wife and it must have just gotten really old for people to have to listen to. I know I feel that way when people do that to me. I guess I just don't want people to look at me negatively as well. Don't want to be that people say "there he goes again".

I have to give props to my brother Ed, he does a good job at yelling at me to keep my blog going. So I'm really going to have to do a better job. He's a cop so I have to give him something to do other than drink coffee and suck down the donuts. lol...j/k...love ya bro! He calls me pretty often to tell me all the cool shit he does at work and just check in. I really apreacitate that. Gives me a chance to live vicarously threw him as well. I would really dig being a cop. I have even thought about after getting my RN that I would maybe try and be a cop even if it is just as a volunteer cop. After all the ride-a-longs I have done with Ed I know its something that I would just flat out have fun doing.

Jonathan is doing really great. He has such a tender heart. It warms me so much when I get him after a long break, cuz he just gives me hugs, kisses, and tells me that he loves me so much. That normally only last a couple of days and then he wants to go back to his mom's house. I get pretty bummed about that, but who wouldn't right. I want him to want to be with me all the time. I just miss having around all the time. I love everything about being a dad, and taking care of him. Its really going to suck when Anna takes him to TX. I just feel like she is robbing me of so much of his life. SO FRUSTRATING!
One of the things that I have started to notice though is that he is so hard on himself when he can't figure things out. I have been working with him with his homework and he has been have a hard time getting the concept of a working clock. He gets so frustrated that he starts to cry. I feel lost sometimes, on how to best explain things to him so that he can grasp it. I think he can feel my frustration as well. He is just so smart that sometimes I forget that he is just 6, and that he is not just going to grasp everything right away. I just have to work harder on being a better teacher and letting him grow at his own pace. I don't want him to have resentment towards me, as the hard ass dad that always pushed him. I really want to just be the father that was always there to give him support and guidance.  

OK, I'm off for now, but as always I hope to do a better job of keeping all of you guys in the loop. Love ya all