Jonathans Move to Orem

Well to keep you in the loop Jonathan left to Orem the other day. Since the ex couldn't find a job here or in TX. she is off to Orem to live with her mom and dad till she can work things out. With that said I have no clue as to when she is planning on moving to TX. My understanding is that they could move next week if something were to pop up, but then in a second breath she has said that she wouldn't move him until the middle of the school yr or the end of the school yr. So, I REALLY HAVE NO CLUE! I will take them being up in Orem than in TX. any day. That is just a 4hr drive to run up and see him for a bit on my days off. It was incredibly hard to take him over to her place knowing that she was taking him away. Sat in the car down the block and just cried for 1/2hr or so. Just couldn't seem to gain my composure enough to drive till then. After that I just head to the house to get some sleep before work. Its always a breeze to sleep after a good cry. I was shocked that I didn't wake with a mad headache. It helped a ton to have to head out to work. It would have been so tough to just sit at the house and think. It got my mind off of it enough for me to be able to back away and attempt to see the big picture.


I have always fought and struggled with the thought of being a failure in Jonathan's eye's. Its no secret that I got daddy issues, but this has to be the biggest of all my fears. With all that has happened since the divorce and him bouncing around I just don't ever want him to think that I didn't want to be with him or that I didn't love him enough. I would guess to say that I always wanted to love my dad still do, but his lack of interest and selfishness makes that impossible, and I don't want Jonathan to ever have to feel that kinda hurt. You can deal with it, cope with it, and live with it, but the bottom line is that its always there.The huge part of why I get so angry at Anna is because it always seem, to me, that she is consistently just thinking about only herself, and that just reminds me of how my dad was and is.

I know that's probably a lot more info then many of you may have wanted, but I just thought I would share.